Look, after the whole "pixelated Steve" video debacle, I didn’t even KNOW the LS-S61 had facial recognition until Brian sneered, "Bet yours can't even scan a face like my Uncle’s fancy door!" Cue panic. Buried deep in the app’s "Are You Sure You're Tech Savvy Enough?" settings? A toggle for "Face ID Unlock." Enabled it. Mistake? Probably.
First Attempt: Pure Farce. Sun blazing right behind me at sunset. Walked up. Blinking green light on the little fish-eye lens. Paused. App notification: "Unknown Face Detected: Low Confidence. Try Removing Hats or Glasses." I was bald, squinting, and squished my own face against the peephole like a weirdo. Felt judged. Brian laughed until he choked.
Getting "Trained": A New Level of Awkward. App instructions: "Hold face steady 8-10 inches from cam." Done. Green light blink... blink... ERROR. "Poor Lighting." Moved inside hallway. ERROR. "Too Close." Backed up. ERROR. "Too Far." Finally, contorted myself like a yoga pretzel under the porch light. SUCCESS! ...For one profile shot. Now it needed angles. Left profile: Dropped my phone trying to contort. Right profile: Neighbor Dave walked past waving. Mortifying. Ten minutes later, sweating, I was "Face Profile 1." Felt less like security, more like a police lineup modeling gig.
Does it Work? Mostly... Chaos.
Where it Fits in the Messy Smart Lock Landscape:
As a pure lock? Still solid. Deadbolt's a tank. Fingerprint rocks. Guest codes genius. But the facial unlock? It’s like teaching your grumpy grandpa to use TikTok – technically possible, occasionally amusing, often frustrating, and fundamentally unpredictable. Would I rely only on it? Never. Would I keep it enabled purely for Brian-denial and trash-panda comedy? 1000%.
So, is it among those "reliable" smart locks with face scanning? Nnnnnot in any conventional sense. But as a weird hybrid security/comedy device that locks your door properly while occasionally screaming at squirrels or mistaking wildlife for homeowners? Yeah, it’s unique. Would I recommend it specifically for facial recognition? Heck no. But is it still a beefcake of a lock despite this janky bolt-on feature? Absolutely. For core security duties plus bonus laughs? It's probably why the LS-S61 stubbornly remains lumped in among those top rated smart locks, raccoon confusion notwithstanding.
Final Thought: Disabled "Face ID" yesterday. Wore the raccoon hat Brian gifted me ironically. Fingerprint worked flawlessly. Lesson learned: Don't outsmart the door. Just unlock it and move on. Now... what's that motion alert? Oh. Just Dave in a new hat. My lock probably thinks he's an opossum now. Fantastic.
- Me, No Hat, Daytime: "Hello, User! Unlocking!" Okay, kinda cool.
- Me, Baseball Cap: "Unknown Face Detected." Sigh. Still need fingerprint.
- Me, Sunglasses: "Unknown Face Detected." Obviously.
- Me at Night (Flash ON): Green night-vision glow. Awake Steve caught me scanning like a startled deer. "Whatcha doin'?" he yelled. Door chimed "ACCESS GRANTED!" before I even scanned. FALSE POSITIVE? Or just ghosts?
- Trash Panda Visitation: Midnight. Motion alert ping. Checked video feed. Glowing raccoon eyes filling the entire fisheye lens. Notification: *"High Confidence Match: User!"* My door thinks a raccoon is me. Security? Questionable. Comedy? Gold.
- Brian Tries it: "HA, watch this!" He mugged for the camera. "Access Denied." Tried again. "Access Denied." Third attempt: "UNKNOWN ENTITY! CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR! AIRHORN BLAST!" Woke the whole street. Sweet, sweet karma. His face? Priceless. Maybe too good at denying jerks?
Where it Fits in the Messy Smart Lock Landscape:
As a pure lock? Still solid. Deadbolt's a tank. Fingerprint rocks. Guest codes genius. But the facial unlock? It’s like teaching your grumpy grandpa to use TikTok – technically possible, occasionally amusing, often frustrating, and fundamentally unpredictable. Would I rely only on it? Never. Would I keep it enabled purely for Brian-denial and trash-panda comedy? 1000%.
So, is it among those "reliable" smart locks with face scanning? Nnnnnot in any conventional sense. But as a weird hybrid security/comedy device that locks your door properly while occasionally screaming at squirrels or mistaking wildlife for homeowners? Yeah, it’s unique. Would I recommend it specifically for facial recognition? Heck no. But is it still a beefcake of a lock despite this janky bolt-on feature? Absolutely. For core security duties plus bonus laughs? It's probably why the LS-S61 stubbornly remains lumped in among those top rated smart locks, raccoon confusion notwithstanding.
Final Thought: Disabled "Face ID" yesterday. Wore the raccoon hat Brian gifted me ironically. Fingerprint worked flawlessly. Lesson learned: Don't outsmart the door. Just unlock it and move on. Now... what's that motion alert? Oh. Just Dave in a new hat. My lock probably thinks he's an opossum now. Fantastic.